It’s so hard to check my email everyday without wiring a single word to you.. I don’t want to start it again.. And as I succeed to do so up till now.. I though I should keep up the good work
I wanted to say this in an email, but decided I just write it her.. I don’t want you feeling sorry for me or ignoring it !!
One of my little cousins tends to cry while sleeping, sometimes it’s cause of nightmares, needing the bathroom or some unknown reason.. What his mom does is let him cry his heart out and shout at him to stop it and go back to sleep without moving her ass of the couch..
I simply hate that, but I have no saying in it.. But today I had. She was out spending the night with friends & I was babysitting them.. The went to bed and 2 hours later he started crying..
I went to his bed ” be ism Allah ” I whispered many times… Tried to get his attention.. Carried him to the bathroom.. But he was still crying & didn’t want the bathroom… Washed his face & dressed him back to his pjs.. And he was still crying…
I put him in my lap, sat on the floor of the corridor & just prayed and read so Quran as he gently lay there in my arms..
After seeing him calm & ready to go back to sleep, I carried him to his bed and covered him with his blanket & let the room the an aching heart.. That’s what a mom does.. That’s how she shod calm him down… All that he needs is a warm loving mom..
I’m not married, I don’t have kids of my own.. But I have the passion & the heart to take care of a family.. And experiencing this tonight got me to tears .. Cause all I want is a family with you & only you..
قرار الحب … يحتاج لــ .قلب ! وقرار الزواج … يحتاج لــ رجـل
Two days ago you sent an email.. More of a lovely almost a cry for help email.. You begged me to let you hear my voice.. You had dreamt of us.. You missed me like crazy.. You felt like suffocating ..
I was crazy excited.. You still have that affect on me.. I turn into a bubbly kid.. So freaking happy !.. The racing heartbeat.. The non-stop smile.. The energy.. Everything seemed all pink and wonderful.. And I gave you permission to call.. And so I waited..
And there it was a call after midnight.. That sweet voice running through my ear.. My name coming out of your lips.. I was talking to you and it felt like a dream.. It still feels like a dream.. Heart-warming.. Blurry and unreachable..
I’m glad you called.. Glad you missed me… Glad you haven’t forgotten me yet.. Here we are another year together even though so apart.. I wonder if will still make it to our anniversary..
I Can’t believe A Whole Season Past Without Me Writing Anything Here.. Its Not That I’ve Been Avoiding Tumblr.. I Check It Every Day.. But I Just Couldn’t Push My Self To Communicate.. A Lot Has Happened With Us These Past Few Weeks.. Months Actually..
We Haven’t Stopped Checking The Mutual Email.. We Even Spent Days Just Checking It Without Writing A Single Word To Each Other.. But I Guess The Idea Of Knowing We Are Both Alive & Safe And Care To Know If There Is Something New In The Inbox Was Enough For Us..
Then We Broke The Ice, With Eid.. I Think We Were Just Waiting For An Opportunity.. A Reason To Validate Our Reconnection.. And Damn It We DID.. We Started Emailing More Frequently.. Even Regarding Silly Tiny Stuff… But It Meant A Lot, I Guess..
Then Came The other Eid, And U Made It All Special.. U Actually CALLED !.. On Your Own Expense..!!.. TWICE !!.. For The First Time.. !! AND I Absolutely Loved It.. It Was VERY VERY Special.. It Meant A Lot To Me.. It Was A Perfect Morning.. Waking Up.. Hearing your Voice.. I Miss That.. I Love That.. How You Make Me Feel.. How I Make U Feel..
I Know I Can’t Stop Loving U.. I Know I’ll Never Will.. You Are Forever In My Heart.. That I’m Sure Of Dear Boy..